San Francisco Couples Therapy for Neurodiverse Relationships
When you love each other—but experience the relationship completely differently
In a city like San Francisco, many couples are navigating something that doesn’t always have a clear name at first:
One partner processes things more analytically, the other more emotionally. One needs space, the other needs closeness. Conversations turn into confusion, not resolution.
You keep trying to “communicate better,” but nothing really shifts. Over time, it can start to feel like:
You’re speaking different languages
You’re constantly misinterpreting each other
You’re both trying—but missing each other
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re not “bad at relationships.”
You may be in a neurodiverse or mixed-neurotype relationship—and that requires a different approach than standard couples therapy.
Why traditional couples therapy hasn’t worked
Many couples I work with in the Bay Area come in after trying therapy before and feeling like:
“We just learned communication tools, but nothing changed.”
“It felt like we were being treated the same, when we’re clearly not.”
“I felt blamed / misunderstood.”
That’s because most couples therapy is built on the assumption that both partners process emotions similarly, express needs in similar ways and experience connection in similar ways.
When that’s not true, those approaches can actually increase frustration.
I work with couples across California through secure video sessions—learn more about mycouples therapy services.
REMEMBER why YOU CHOSE EACH OTHER—AND CHOOSE EACH OTHER AGAIN.
Hi, I’m Adela.
I help couples get to the bottom of the patterns keeping them stuck: we cultivate a more enjoyable relationship for both partners.
You deserve more than just going through the motions.
Get to the root of the issue & discover a deeper connection.
Online couples therapy for partners who experience connection, communication, and intimacy differently.
What’s actually happening in your relationship
In many neurodiverse couples, the issue isn’t effort—it’s mismatch in how you experience and respond to the world.
You might be navigating different sensory threshold, different communication styles (direct vs nuanced), different emotional processing speeds and different needs for structure, predictability, or spontaneity
And underneath it all, one partner may feel chronically unseen or alone and the other may feel constantly criticized or like they’re failing. This creates a painful cycle where both people feel misunderstood—even when they care deeply about each other.
How I work with neurodiverse couples
I don’t approach your relationship as “two people who need better communication.”
I approach it as two different systems that need tounderstand each other and build a bridge.
In our work, we will identify the actual pattern you’re stuck in (not just surface arguments), help you understand how each of your nervous systems operates and translate between your different communication styles
We will interrupt cycles where one pursues and the other withdraws and create real moments of being seen and understood. Not just tools—but a shift in how you experience each other.
What changes when the work starts to land
Couples often begin to notice:
“We’re not fighting the same way anymore”
“I actually feel understood for the first time”
“I don’t feel like I’m always getting it wrong”
“We can repair instead of spiraling”
And importantly, you stop trying to turn each other into the same person and start learning how to meet each other where you are.
San Francisco couples therapy (telehealth)
I work with couples across California via secure video sessions. This allows you to attend from home or work, stay consistent with sessions and do this work without adding more logistical stress.
I offer a free 20-minute consultation where we can talk about what’s been happening, get a sense of whether this approach fits and answer your questions.
