top of page
  • astonetherapist

The Case Against Transactional Relationships

Updated: Feb 27

Transactional romantic relationships are based on a quid-pro-quo arrangement where both partners engage in the relationship with the sole purpose of fulfilling their needs or desires, without genuine emotional attachment or commitment to each other.


Such relationships can be detrimental to one’s wellbeing and create a toxic dynamic that is not conducive to long-term happiness. The problem with moving through relationships transactionally is that people rarely show up in relationships in the same way. Nor should they have to.


Transactional relationships lack authenticity and genuine emotional connection. There is little emphasis on establishing a deep and meaningful connection with the other person. This lack of connection can lead to feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and dissatisfaction, ultimately leading to a sense of disillusionment and disappointment.


Furthermore, transactional relationships tend to be short-lived and can be characterized by frequent power struggles and conflicts. Any compromise or sacrifice is seen as a sign of weakness. This can lead to a lack of trust and mutual respect, making it difficult to establish a stable and lasting relationship.


In addition, transactional relationships can be harmful to one’s self-esteem and self-worth. When one’s value is based solely on their ability to fulfill the other person’s needs or desires, it can create a sense of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Cue in a cycle of seeking validation and approval from others, ultimately depriving oneself of the opportunity to experience true love. 


Are you not sure this applies to your relationship? Excellent. You can check on the list below for signs that you are living in a reciprocal rather than a transactional relationship:


o  I don’t expect my partner to meet all of my needs.

o  I ask for what I want and accept the reality that I may not get it.

o  I am thoughtful about the expectations I place on my partner.

o  I respect that my partner has their own needs, wishes and opinions.

o  I can let go of my partner’s mistakes and flaws because they, too, are human.

23 views0 comments


bottom of page